The topic of time came up in a moms group that I am in and I really felt in my heart that it was a topic worth writing about. As moms we all need more time! We all feel it. The struggle. The pull. How can we do it all? If only we had more time in our day.
I have struggled with this (A LOT) over the years of being a mom- 15 years to be exact! I think I felt it some before becoming a mother, but it shifted into overdrive the minute I became a mom. I have found some things to be helpful and I will discuss those, but lately I have been thinking a little deeper about the whole concept of time and shifting my perspective a bit.
What are you telling yourself about time? Are you telling yourself that you never have enough? Or that you have all the time that you need? I am sure you have heard of the concept of scarcity vs abundance. If not, please take some time to explore these concepts. Basically it is the law of attraction in action. What you think about you bring about. Like attracts like. So, if you are always thinking, or worse yet saying, “I never have enough time”, guess what? You probably won’t! This one hit home hard for me. I have a terrible habit of saying that very thing. I am working on reframing it. I am coming up with a new dialogue. “I have all the time that I need” or “Time is abundant’. Just saying those sentences puts a calming over my heart. This will take some practice and might feel awkward at first, but try it and let me know how it is working!
As moms, we have a habit of trying to do it all. I feel as though that is not very realistic and perhaps is just setting us all up to feel like a failure. In Shonda Rhimes book “Year of Yes” she describes it pretty well. She talks about how people always assume she has it all together and would always ask her “how do you do it all”? Her honest answer was that she doesn’t! When she is really killing it in her career her home life is suffering; and when she chooses to focus on family and be present with her kids, there is writing not getting done. Deadlines not being met. There is beauty in finding our balance. There is peace in keeping things simple. It starts with adjusting our expectations. How can you simplify? I have read a couple books that might help. Check out “The One Thing” by Gary Keller and “The Best Yes” by Lysa TerKeurst.
Ok, the practical things. These are a few things that I think will help to make a difference in having more time, or at least the sense that you do! First, always start your day out intentionally with a solid morning routine. There are lots of books and podcasts on this topic, but if you are just starting out check out Sara Dean’s 15-Minute Manifest from The Shameless Mom Academy. If you sign up for her list she will send it to you for free. I have found this to be extremely helpful!
Create your day! Prioritize the must-dos and write it down. There is great satisfaction in checking things off the list also :) Make sure to include self-care items. I know how easy it is to fall to the bottom of the priority list. As moms, we almost ALL do it! But, if you don’t take care of you, who will? And worse, if you deplete yourself, who will take care of your family? I am a true believer in the “You can not pour from an empty cup” metaphor. I know how easy it is to put yourself off, but that needs to change. Making time for yourself is one of the best things that you can do for your family now. Truly.